philosophy for dummies

 here is how to be a philosophy professor:

- step one: look like you stepped out of a 2015 mumford and sons concert with your newborn son named hazel. shitty beard mandatory. wife and kids optional

- step two: have an incessant holier-than-thou attitude where every powerpoint is full of little philosophy in-jokes for you and the TAs

- step three: give inscrutable assignments with no rubric so you and aforementioned TAs can just give whatever grade you feel like

step four: presumably take advantage of your position of power by having sex with a grad student