the future is now

 to any internet scavengers stumbling upon this in the distant future, this saga continues here. didn't want to leave anybody hanging

coldweather

 as i walked out of the student union panda express bag in hand i felt the cold fall air sting my nose and i remembered that i actually like the weather here. as i got into my room to eat dinner alone in front of the non-tv tv that is my computer i remembered that i actually like solitude. as i type out this post i remember that things are usually pretty good even if the large scale schemes and grand scheme scales have yet to be figured out

the political event of the century

first off, let me commemorate a truly historic event: it's cold out! for the first time in my life, it's cold in the place where i live. this is one of the greatest things to happen in history ever. now, onto the main event: last night's political debate between florida house candidates "gallop franklin" and "kurt bender". ignoring both of their names sounding like pornstar names, these are two incredibly boring candidates. outside of a few minor policy differences (the republican supports green energy? whuhhhhh???) these guys just toed the party line in a respectful and predictable manner. 

the night was off to a shaky start. the event started at 7, and being the smart cookie i am, i decided to pop over to the student union next door to the theater for some fried food at around 7:30. i picked pollo tropical, seeing as how i've had --

<!> emergency!!! <!> ladybug just landed on my laptop screen. this is adorable. needed to commemorate it in the written word. ok where were we

i couldn't get panda express because i was kind of sick of chinese food and i couldn't get panera bread because panera bread sucks. because of that i was left with pollo tropical, the place with notably poor service. "it'll be fine" i thought, incredibly foolishly. "i have like 30 minutes! i eat fast!" anyway, they got my food at 6:58, haphazardly shoved the paper bag into my backpack, and ran over to the auditorium for the debatestravaganza that was about to unfold.(ladybug just flew away btw)

i walked into the auditorium, expecting a packed theater for this political theatre, only to see a ghost town. maybe 30, 40 people were scattered around this 250-seater. shocking, i know. i spotted the hosts of the event: one, a dork in a blue tie; the other, a dork with unfortunate early onset male pattern baldness. satistfied, i settled down in a seat near the front row and waited for the show to begin.

20 minutes later (time i could've spent eating my sandwich) the two candidates walked out on stage. franklin, the democratic nominee, was a skinny guy with a beard and a pin. bender (the republican) was a slightly pudgy guy with a loud baby in the audience. the next hour flew by as the candidates made points about various issues and said "this is where my opponent and i disagree" a bunch. they really loved talking about "the free market" - it seemed like in their eyes, any issue could be solved by encouraging free market solutions and lowering taxes and small businesses etc etc just kill me now. the one interesting moment was the last question of the debate half. asked a question about the "don't say gay" bill, bender came up with some hackneyed response about how if you read the bill, you'll find that teachers are actually allowed to say gay. for the first time in the debate, franklin showed real emotion, as he exclaimed "i don't know what planet my opponent is living on, but it sure isn't earth". that's about as passionate as the debate got.

the "town hall" section was boring in a different, interesting way. i got a first-hand look at the types who would attend a state politics debate. there was a well-meaning but mealy-mouthed progressive, a polisci guy who quoted the constitution like it was the bible, a terrifying "yung conservative" white woman with no soul in her eyes, a genuinely crazy guy who screamed incoherently about "father's rights", and me. i went up and asked a question about getting campus cops out of public high schools; the democrat said "more training" and the republican said "a few bad apples". whoop de freakin' do. i went home, ate my now-cold pollo tropical, and barely paid attention to kiyoshi kirosawa's groundbreaking masterpiece "safe". not a bad day overall

u break i fix

 cool thing that happened yesterday: my phone's charger stopped working! i called the local "u break i fix" establishment (btw, what an insanely patronizing name) and they said that if i brought it in today they could fix it in less than an hour. turns out that was a lie - i am officially going to be phoneless until wednesday. it's 2009

a day spent well

- woke up at 1:00 pm

- got lunch

- watched breaking bad

-laid near-comatose for 3 hours

- tuned into mega64 hell fest

today was a good day

subway

 just had a subway sandwich. i'm not a particularly big subway fan for a few reasons:

1. the name

"sub"way? "sub"???? they're called hoagies. don't say they're not called hoagies. they are hoagies, mister. not submarines or subs or heroes. they are hoagies and subway is criminal for denying that inherent truth

2. the food is not very good

two words: yoga mats

3. jared

they completely fumbled the bag here. jareds pedophilia could have led to the ad campaign of the decade. they should have struck back! don't let jared have the last word

anyway the sandwich was fine. they have a number-style menu system now, where you can get a "no. 2 cheesesteak" or a "no. 4 italiano" or whatever the fuck. strange, considering their whole thing is based on getting to build your own sandwich. mark it up to the downfall of society or whatever

spoke too soon

the dream is over, fellas. roommate can't attend and doesn't feel comfortable lending me his car. i am so mad about the things that make me angry. at this point i am unsure of my options besides the most illustrious, that of giving up. ask my parents? demeaning, and they'll probably say no. hitchhiking? a good idea if i want to die. a bus would be prohibitively expensive and would also take thrice as long to get there. i'm in a rudderless ship here dawgs

st petersburg!!!

 well ain't that something! the day after i make that spiteful little post about performers avoiding florida like the plague, i find out JPEGmafia is coming to st. petersburg (petersberg?) in a few weeks. it's a 4 hour drive, but it's one i'm willing to make. btw, just rewatched serial mom for the first time in a while - soooo good. possibly one of the funniest movies of all time

new york texas california

 it seems like every few weeks i see some really cool event happening in new york, texas, or california. it's really somewhat demoralizing, down here in the asscrack of the country - i'm constantly being taunted by tour dates in my hometown, tour dates slightly too far to drive. maybe one day in the near future i'll be autonomous enough to go on a three-day road trip to see some band i like. but not today

last night was a movie fr

 those friends who weren't gonna show up... showed up! a real surprise, they texted me saying they were waiting in my dorm while i was at the video store. we had a pretty good night, went out smoking and drinking and being general public nuisances. we even had some whataburger, which is the taco bell of burger joints. never have i seen a menu that so blatantly caters to stoners. truly beautiful. 

right now i'm lamenting the modern-day computing trend of cutting ports in favor of thinness - everything from the humble 3.5mm headphone jack to USB itself has been cannibalized in favor of a form factor more in line with a manila folder than anything worth punching numbers into. my laptop of 2 years has 3 USB-C ports in the way of I/O - include power and you're down to two. granted, there are dongles and docks and whatnot for USB-A and HDMI, but honestly who has ever been grateful for a dongle?

the case of the mysterious prior obligation

 as expected! despite me bringing it up like 3 days ago and then posting on my instagram story, my two friends who i had the idea with ended up going elsewhere. this always happens. again, i went in with a sort of worst-case-scenario mindset, so i'm not *mad* - but i'm certainly not happy either. maybe i'll turn this around, dip into my emergency friend reserve and switch gears to target a sappier audience

salame

 tonight is the night of my so-called movie night and honestly i might just delight in dumping the whole thing. like, idk if anybody even cares - there's a football game going on and it seems like most people seem pretty indisposed to attend. i would love to have friends over and watch a goofy movie but it seems making A Night of it is what doomed me. i think i'll go into it with the whole entire expectation that nobody shows up, and then if somebody does it's a pleasant surprise

philosophy for dummies

 here is how to be a philosophy professor:

- step one: look like you stepped out of a 2015 mumford and sons concert with your newborn son named hazel. shitty beard mandatory. wife and kids optional

- step two: have an incessant holier-than-thou attitude where every powerpoint is full of little philosophy in-jokes for you and the TAs

- step three: give inscrutable assignments with no rubric so you and aforementioned TAs can just give whatever grade you feel like

step four: presumably take advantage of your position of power by having sex with a grad student